Posts Tagged ‘dream journal’

Dream Journal #6

Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.

– James Dean

I dreamed last night that I was invited to a former work friend’s lavish home for a day. Things looked promising as she lived in an abandoned amusement park. As we toured around the property, she took me to her room, which was huge and fit for a princess. Though it was sparsely furnished, one could see the intricately carved gilded moldings on the ceiling and walls, remnants from its glory days.

After some brief introductions to her parents and brother, she then whisked me to a room lined with dark wood panels. Right at the center was a Jacuzzi and next to that was what looked like the beginnings of a waterslide. Her slightly heavyset friend appeared out of nowhere and jumped right on the slide, gesturing for both of us to follow suit. My host stripped off her T-shirt, revealing a bikini underneath. This was normal for her as she taught mermaid swimming lessons and dressed like that every day for convenience. She slipped onto the waterslide and disappeared around the bend.

Being unprepared and generally not a good swimmer, I took off my shirt and gingerly lowered myself on the chute. Despite it being wide enough and water flowing freely around me, I found it hard to move forward on the slide. I thought it odd that I had to push myself in order to get moving when I was nowhere near as wide as her friend. My struggle continued all the way until I made my splash on the pool below. As I came up for air, I saw my sister by the pool. I turned around and saw a long queue at the top of the outdoor waterslide. Apparently, we have just taken the shortcut to the pool area using the family’s private access.

As we made our way out of the pool area, I was struck by how vast the property was and how many people it could hold. There were areas in the park that were closed off from the public and looked rather shabby. It seemed that our hosts have invited their entire neighborhood for the party and they ventured out even to the restricted places. Suddenly, I heard loud banging and almost woke me up from my bizarre dream but I managed to doze off.

We found ourselves back to the house and our clothes before heading back to my friend’s bedroom to change. When we opened the door, a camera crew was filming by the bed. I guessed the family invited a celebrity of sorts for the festivities, which I still had no idea what event I was invited for. After we slipped back into our T-shirts, the celebrity invited us to sit on the bed with him.

I heard some more loud noises before I woke up with a start to the carpenters hammering away at the attic above my room. I begrudgingly dragged myself out of bed and made ready to start my day amidst the chaos of the renovation going in our house.

 

Dream Journal #5

2-11-07

Why does the eye see a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination when awake? 

—Leonardo da Vinci

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She had another dream about you last night. It’s been so long since the last time, but like the previous ones, they still sweep the rug from under and floored her. Every time.

She was at school and by the landing she saw L in a guard’s uniform. As she was making her way down the steps, she saw you wearing the same thing. You were climbing up the stairs toward her. We took a walk around the front gardens. They talked and laughed like they haven’t talked and laughed before. The boy said he and L were on guard duties as part of a community volunteer service. For the first time—and only in her dreams—he was so easy to talk to.

Suddenly, they were sitting down on a row of benches in an unusually deserted park, and he was wearing something more casual. She asked him about his girlfriend. He said that you had a girlfriend for a while but it ended not too l0ng ago. She argued that the status in his social media profile was still “in a relationship.” He explained that he kept it that way so no one would bother asking him why he was still single. Then they boy said something funny, and the girl slapped his leg affectionately. The next thing they knew, they were holding hands while making their way back to the building. They walked like it was the most natural thing to do in the world.

It was at this point that her imagination took over because the dream ended with an  anticipation of a kiss as the boy lowered his lips to meet hers.

***

She woke up shivering from cold. It seemed funny because the sun was shining quite brightly outside her window, and there was only a slight cool breeze coming in. Maybe the shirt she wore to sleep was just a little too thin and that the still cold draft of the early morn crept up her spine. Or maybe it was the lingering feeling of anticipating for that kiss, which almost always never happens in all her dreams of him. She may never know. But all she knew was this, she missed him. She feared that she will never see that boy again. All she had of him now was just a lifetime of memories and a series of frustrating dreams.

She  went downstairs to buy lunch when the answer to her dream came assailing through my ears. The girl remembered that old cheesy love song the boy used to sing to her when he called her one day. It may be the corniest love song ever but for a brief moment, it made her smile.

Way back then, she remembered cradling the phone close to her chest as she smiled. That smile was frozen on her face all day long because of that call. They were so young but even then, she knew it was love. It wasn’t just infatuation one bestows upon a cute boy and then just quickly take it right back and offer it to the next cute boy in sight.  No, what they had was real, and she will treasure it for a lifetime.

Life is too short to live in perpetual frustrations and undying guilt. But if it was all she have left of the boy, then the girl would gladly accept an eternity of anguish. That’s how much he meant and forever will be to her.

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Dream Journal # 2

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”

J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

She had that kind of dream again. Even now as she become fully awake, the details are slipping away faintly like sand through her clenched fist. No matter how much she held on to them, they seem to pour out in between her fingers.

As these things usually go, it began with her getting together with some of her old friends. Through some not-so-subtle manipulation, they ended up having dinner alfresco on the same table together by the side of the road.

After a few awkward “How are yous” and “What’s new with yous,” they mostly ate in silence; all the while, acutely aware that the other is married. After finishing their last bite, both started staring off into the distance. Neither wanted the night to end, but they didn’t know what to say to each other either.

Finally, she pushed her plate away and stood up. They were clearing the table when another friend came to join them. He just came back from dropping off his girlfriend, walked toward them, and put his arms around the guy’s shoulder. All three of them headed toward the group gathering to leave.

Then the whole gang decided to walk home together. Because of the lively chat with their old friends, she made it to about a block and a half away before she realized that they had passed by the street of her parent’s house.

This was the part where she wished she could change her dream…

After telling the group that she had missed her street, she made a hearty wave, turned around, and started to walk back toward her street. They were waving goodbye at her; so was he. He shouted something at her, while walking backwards, but she couldn’t hear it. Their friends laughed.

At the corner of her street, she watched as their figures became smaller and smaller.

Then she woke up, bursting with frustration. She immediately tried to recall as much detail as possible, then she thought about how the dream should have ended. There were two things that she wanted to change. First, she wanted to know what he shouted at her that made their friends laugh. More  significantly, she wanted him to offer to walk her home.

She was already playing the scene in full color inside her head when she realized she couldn’t ignore the golden glint bouncing off his wedding ring as he waved at her. The fact that he was married brought fresh bile into her mouth and shattered the already cracked exterior of her emotions. Her heart was used to the torture, and yet, she still couldn’t stop thinking about the what ifs.

Her last thoughts drifted to what he was wearing in her dream, a dark denim jacket over white t-shirts and black jeans. And then, she stopped thinking and resolutely rose from her bed to face her real life.

Dream Journal # 1

I dreamed that I was being proposed to (not by my boyfriend, mind!), but I turned him down. And when I woke up, I didn’t remember who the guy was or why I declined the proposal. I could only vaguely recall certain features he had, like, he was tall and wiry and with a complexion that screamed “mullato”.

This dream spoke volumes about my fear of conformity and getting hitched.